She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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