So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
