hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
