good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
