I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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