Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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