His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
