over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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