This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
