ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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