I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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