even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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