so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
