Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
