I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
