i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
