Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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