hell yes lets make some ravioli
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
