You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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