I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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