There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
