Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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