This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
