From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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