i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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