Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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