What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
