you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
