I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
