I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
