he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
