It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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