Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
