how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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