He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
