Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
