I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
