We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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