she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
