She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
