apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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