I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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