half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
