so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
