Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
