that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
