yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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