Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
