tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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