lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
